Broken

I promised to love, and honor him forever
I lied
Where there was love is nothing
Where there was honor is now disgust

Does this make me bad?
Does this make me wrong?
Does it make me a failure?
Am I broken?

Or is it him?
He was nice
He was caring
He was loving
Then he drank
He changed
The nice became mean
The caring just disappeared
The love was twisted...into something else

Is he the broken one?
Was I just in the wrong place at the wrong time?
Did I give him too many chances?
Did I wait too long to leave?
Will I be like him?
Will I change like that?
Have I been damaged beyond repair?
Will I ever be able to forget?

I used to feel strong.
I used to know I was powerful.

Now I feel cold and weak.

Can I get my strength back?
It has been so long...
Will I ever find it?

When did I lose it?
How long has it been gone?

Longer, I think...
I think it left me that night in December...
That night I have tried to block out of my mind for so many years...that night that won't go away...

So, here I am
I feel like I've been broken
I feel cold and alone

There is only a small amount of hope
A flicker of what was once me leftover

Trying to get out
Trying to be free
It's getting bigger, but will I ever be the same?